Strangely prescient Purim Motown-parody anticipates remarks by Rav Yosef

Ynetnews presents some timely remarks from towering Torah scholar Rabbi Ovadia Yosef:

Shas' spiritual leader, Rabbi Ovadia, Yosef said Saturday evening that "drunkenness is an abominable and nefarious act" and that in Purim one must drink very little wine, only as a symbolic act to remember Ahasuerus' feast – without getting intoxicated.

In his weekly sermon Saturday eve, Yosef said, "Haman was intoxicated, but we must act with good manners." The rabbi recommended drinking until one falls asleep – a situation in which one does not distinguish between 'Haman the agitate' and 'Mordechai the blessed'."

"A man that is drunk – what good is he?" wondered Rabbi Yosef . . .

I actually created this parody last year, but "what good" indeed?

Barf! huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Uh-huh
Barf! huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it again, y'all

Barf! huh, Gevalt!
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me

Ohhh, Barf, I reprove
Because it means destruction
Of innocent booze

Barf means tears
When mothers view the muddle
With their sons face down
In a single-malt puddle

I said, Barf! huh
Gevalt, y'all
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it again

Barf! Gevalt!
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me

Barf! it ain't nothing
But a tragedy
Barf, friend only to the distillery
Ooooh, Barf
It's an enemy to all Yid-kind
The point of barf blows my mind
Barf has caused unrest
Within the younger generation
Engorgement then disgorgement
Who wants to barf
Aaaaah, barf-huh
Gevalt y'all
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it, say it, say it
Barf! huh
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me

Barf, huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Uh-huh
Barf, huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it again y'all
Barf! huh, Gevalt
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me

Barf, it ain't nothing but bad for Jewry
Barf, it's got one friend
That's the brewery
Ooooh, barf has shattered
Many a young man's seuda
Made him discolored, bitter and putrid
Purim is much too short and precious
To spend unconscious these days
Barf can't give simcha
It can only take it away

Ooooh, Barf! huh
Gevalt y'all
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it again

Barf, whoa, Gevalt
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me

Barf, it ain't nothing but bad for Jewry
Barf, friend only to the brewery
Simcha, joy and moderation
Tell me, is there no place for them today
They say we must binge to have our simchah
Hashem knows there's got to be a better way

Ooooooh, Barf! huh
Gevalt y'all
What is it good for
You tell me
Say it, say it, say it, say it

Barf, huh
Gevalt y'all
What is it good for
Stand up and shout it
Nothing

Even Rav Yosef lets you drink enough to fall asleep. Judeopundit recommends saying some lechaims in the spirit of fun and moderation and keeping down your Seudas Purim.

Freilechen Purim!

Crossposted on Soccer Dad

We over-recruited a bit

J-Post reports on a BBC interview revealing the true extent of the conspiracy:

In explaining the Mossad’s operating methods outside Israel, Thomas told PM host Eddie Mair, "They have a whole backup system called ‘asylum.’ These are people, local residents, Jewish people, who help the Mossad. It is estimated to be in the world about half a million; some people say a million; I tend to say it’s about half a million, all of them Mossad people."

Those involved in the conspiracy are growing exponentially. That gives us awesome capabilities, true, and it means there is no need to maintain secrecy any longer. Still, it seems a bit short-sighted to me. What is going to happen when every single person on Earth is part of the Zionist conspiracy? There won't be anyone left to conspire against! I tried telling them, but they wouldn't listen. (Hat Tip: Marty Peretz)

Crossposted on Soccer Dad

The "Song and Dance Ensemble of the Ministry of People's Security"? Is that like the KGB-ettes?

Just musically talented internal security goons regaling their beloved dictator:

General Secretary Kim Jong Il appreciated a premiere given by the newly-organized Song and Dance Ensemble of the Ministry of People's Security.

Artistes of the ensemble put on the stage chorus "Please Receive Our Salute", mixed duet and chorus "February Is Spring", female quartet and chorus "Our Country Is Witnessing Changes" and oungum ensemble "The General Star Beyond the Clouds" and other colorful numbers.

The performers enthusiastically sang of their high honor and pride of living and struggling as staunch revolutionary soldiers of the Party and the leader and protectors of the people under the loving care of Kim Jong Il. They, at the same time, fully demonstrated the might of the interior forces which have firmly defended the outpost of the class struggle and reliably protected the gains of the socialist country and the people's security, glorifying the tradition of devotedly defending the leader over the last more than six decades.

They successfully represented the unshakable faith and will of the people's security men to defend the best socialist system centered on the popular masses in the DPRK as firm as a rock by always breathing the same breath with Kim Jong Il and sharing idea, will and destiny with him and creditably discharging the honorable mission as the first-line contingent of the class struggle and the interior forces of the Party.

He warmly waved back to the enthusiastically cheering performers and audience, congratulating the performers on their successful performance.

He expressed great satisfaction over the fact that the artistes of the ensemble staged a splendid performance popular in its contents and replete with the spirit of the times with favorite songs loved by the people. He highly appreciated their successful presentation and extended thanks to them.

He set forth important tasks which would serve as guidelines for performing activities, expressing expectation and belief that the ensemble would creditably perform their honorable mission and duty as buglers in the era of Songun by powerfully arousing the popular masses to the revolution and construction through their dynamic revolutionary and militant art activities. [...]

Recent editions of Haveil Havalim are also powerfully arousing the popular masses to the revolution and construction through their dynamic revolutionary and militant art activities.

Ice Cream achieves new levels of frumkeit

Ynet currently has story about a new chain of ice cream stores targeted at the Chareidi public. The Chareidi part evidently involves high kashrus standards and a take-out-only policy to prevent teenage boys and girls from socializing at the store. What flavors are really hitting it big with the Chareidi crowd?

In order to learn about the most popular flavor among the community's members, surveys have been held among yeshiva students and girls studying in seminaries. The most popular flavors were said to be lemon with vodka, cherry and chocolate-orange.

In that order, no doubt. Lechaim!

Anti-Israel graphics of the day

These are courtesy of Al-Qassam Brigades Information Service, MPAC-UK, and MPAC.ie.

Restaurant now serving turtle--North Korea's really thriving now

I have a weakness for this sort of story, as you may have noticed. Essentially, the whole story consists of some additions to the menu of one restaurant, somehow illustrating "Kim Jong Il's loving care for improving the people's diet as required by a thriving nation." The inevitable political conclusions can come from anything, even turtle porridge:

Okryu Restaurant in Pyongyang has begun serving dishes made of snapping turtle on the occasion of the birthday of leader Kim Jong Il, February 16.

One can be treated in the restaurant with various kinds of turtle dishes such as turtle soup, raw dishes made of turtle heart, liver or spawn, steamed or fried turtle and turtle porridge.

Liquors of famous brands including Pyongyang Soju brewed at the Taedonggang Foodstuff Factory are adding to the taste of the dishes.

The dishes are associated with leader Kim Jong Il's loving care for improving the people's diet as required by a thriving nation.

He gave meticulous instructions as to turtle breeding and cookery, hoping that turtle dishes, good for health, would be served well to the people at restaurants.

Refurbished Okryu Restaurant, famous for Pyongyang cold noodles, took the lead in making preparations to successfully realizing the leader's wish.

Its employees built a habitat in order to raise turtles on a large scale.

They completed a unique cookery for diversified turtle dishes to suit the Korean people's taste through several sampling parties.

Along with turtle food the restaurant also delights customers with caviar and other rare dishes.

It has a plan to include bullfrog, salmon and other high-grade dishes in its menu.

Salmon doesn't sound bad. Bullfrog?

That's entertainment!

I hear it went really well. The projector didn't need fixing at all:

A film show was arranged for the military attaches corps here Wednesday on the occasion of the birthday of General Secretary Kim Jong Il.

Present there on invitation were members of the corps.

The participants watched Korean documentary film "President Kim Il Sung and General Kim Jong Il Were Always Together on the Road of Songun-based Leadership". The film deals with the undying feats Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il performed in strengthening the People's Army into the invincible revolutionary armed forces perfectly prepared in political and ideological and military technical aspects and making the nation's defenses impregnable.

The latest Haveil Havalim is perfectly prepared in political and ideological and military technical aspects.

Hitchens on Songun Racism

A current article from Christopher Hitchens, reviewing "B.R. Myers in his electrifying new book The Cleanest Race: How North Koreans See Themselves and Why It Matters," notes what I've noticed here: that North Korea promotes notions of racial purity. Hitchens states:

The whole idea of communism is dead in North Korea, and its most recent “Constitution,” “ratified” last April, has dropped all mention of the word.

He also summarizes Myers:

Myers makes a persuasive case that we should instead regard the Kim Jong-il system as a phenomenon of the very extreme and pathological right. It is based on totalitarian “military first” mobilization, is maintained by slave labour and instills an ideology of the most unapologetic racism and xenophobia.

On the other hand, the LA Times notes that North Korea is "closing down privately run markets in favor of state-owned shops." And the articles from North Korea's state-run press continue to just scream Communism at you (The might of single-minded unity is smashing all Imperialist plots!) According to the (North) Korean News site, Kim sent recent greetings to the leader of Vietnam wishing him "greater success in the struggle for the victory of the socialist cause." That's the way it is with Leftness and Rightness: it is a better predictor of who is allied with whom than of anything else.

Most important technological innovation of our time

Here.