Nick Berg’s father invents new school of ethics called “proximism”

Michael Berg recently unveiled a newly-created school of ethics which clearly should be called “proximism.” According to this school of thought, the morality of an action taken by a human being involving another person mainly depends on the proximity of the other person. If the two people are in each other’s presence, the action is good. Anything done remotely is bad. Thus, mugging someone is good. One can only mug another person in that person’s presence. Having a long-distance phone conversation with someone and posting something to the internet, by contrast, are heinous crimes. Here is the master himself presenting an example:

"Zarqawi felt my son's breath on his hand as held the knife against his throat. Zarqawi had to look in his eyes when he did it," Berg added, pausing to collect himself, "George Bush sits there glassy-eyed in his office with pieces of paper and condemns people to death. That to me is a real terrorist."

An immediate apparent drawback to this school of thought is that it appears to drastically transvalue actions normally regarded as injurious to life and property. It is therefore suggested that if you find yourself in the presence of a person known to espouse the doctrine of proximism, and you notice that he is trying to feel your breath with his hand, take evasive action immediately. At least until they get the bugs worked out.

Tags: Nick Berg, Michael Berg, ethics, Zarqawi, proximism