A ban on the sale of junk food in California schools has sparked a thriving underground market with pupils turning "sugar pushers" and selling contraband confectionery to their peers. [...]Many students, of course, cognizant of the importance of wise government measures to stem the corporate obesity conspiracy, have become quite incensed at this naked capitalist greed. Some have taken to penning protest songs such as the following:
I drank a lot of juice
O Lawd, I chewed a lot of gum
But I never ate nothin'
Make me need no Insulin
I seen a lot of kids walkin' round
With milk duds in the hall
But that Pisher don't care
About your bad cholesterol
Fat Chance, you Pisher
Fat Chance, you Pisher
I say Fat Chance
I won't be no Fatty Pants
You know the healther, the healther is a man
With the love sprouts in his hand
Oh but the pisher is a pusher
With evil corporate contraband
The healther for a nickel
Lawd, will sell you lots of good carbs
Ah, but the pisher bloat your body
Lawd, he'll leave your, he'll leave your weight to soar
Fat Chance, you Pisher
Fat Chance, you Pisher
I say Fat Chance
Won't be no Fatty Pants
Well, now if I were the principal of this land
You know, I'd declare total war on the Fatty Pants
Make lots of regulations and a brand new agency
And I'd fight him with a school-wide no tolerance policy
Fat Chance, you Pisher
Fat Chance, you Pisher
I say Fat Chance
Won't be no Fatty Pants
Crossposted on Soccer Dad
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