Tuesday, November 25, 2008

eHarmony displays unexpected enthusiasm for new mission

eHarmony, the matchmaking service founded by an evangelical Christian, recently announced, as a settlement in a lawsuit, that it would expand its service to cater to people seeking same-sex partners. Despite the fact that the new developments stem from litigation, the company seems to be warming to its new clientele. Explained company spokesman, Fred Shadchan, "Suppose you had an unshakable commitment to traditional morality. It isn't like you'd object to having a bunch of gay people put their prospects for successful long-term relationships into your hands." Shadchan admits that eHarmony's famed match-making algorithms need some fine-tuning when it comes to men-seeking-men and women-seeking-women. "So far the couples we have tried to match have done nothing but fight around the clock," admitted Shadchan. "Some of those people are really physically fit, too. They inflict damage when they're riled."

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