Today's Revolutionary News

Is this any way to treat a dead dictator?

Vladimir Lenin, founder of the Soviet Union, is the latest victim of the global economic crisis.

Russian officials say they don't have enough money to change the suit worn by his embalmed remains in his mausoleum on Red Square.

'This is the first time that Lenin has been left without new clothes,' explained Yuri Denisov-Nikolskiy, deputy head of the All-Russian Scientific Institute for Medical and Aromatic Herbs. [...]

The last time the suit was changed was in 2003 - even though it is supposed to be done every three years because it gets damaged by the powerful chemicals used to preserve his body.

After the long delay, a change this year was considered essential - but no funds could be found.

So Lenin was put back on display this week in his six-year-old, now shabby-looking suit. [...]

One place still remains, however, where Lenin's legacy still means great leaps forward: the might of Songun has now achieved an Italian Restaurant!

There is a moving story behind the appearance of this restaurant.

General Secretary Kim Jong Il took care that a restaurant specializing in Italian dishes was opened, saying the Koreans should be let to taste world- famous dishes.

He took necessary measures, learning that the restaurant found it a tough row to hoe, having no cook experienced in Italian dishes.

Now our cooks are just as good as Italians in making Italian dishes.

No wonder the Korean and foreign customers are satisfied with the famous dishes of the world served by our restaurant. [...]

Surely, after such an achievement, when it comes time to mummify the Dear Leader, they won't ever neglect to change his suit.