Thursday, April 17, 2008

Did you end up at Target or Walmart armed with Blumenkrantz's Pesach guide?

"Buy some hair conditioner we can use on Pesach," my wife and daughters instructed me. I got to the conditioner aisle, only to be faced with an endless array of things with names like "Frizz-banishing High-Gloss Extrusion Asparagizer Gel for Incompletely-Deconstructed Hair-like Substance," "Kiwi-jolt Thickenizing Color-Developer Glaze Evolution Mousse and Moisturizing Tress-Matrix," and "N-Hexane Phase-V Nifsal Le'Achilas Kelev Sheitl-like Curl Inducer for Pogum Hair." Hmmm, maybe that last one.

Some of the littler ones had come along with permission to spend up to 10 bucks apiece on toys to keep them occupied during the final throes of Pesach-cleaning. One toy was the latest improvement on sidewalk chalk: sidewalk spray paint! That's a toy with a sub-text: Junior Gang-Graffiti Kit. It comes with glasses to induce a 3-D effect in the resultant sprayings.

We got to the cash-register, only to notice that the package for the three wooden spoons was open! The teenager running the cash-register was probably thinking "What's the big deal--the bag tore a little." My son ran back to get a new bag before the check-out guy was finished ringing us up. He made it back in time! My children looked very relieved.

That's what you call clinging to Religion. We Jews have been doing that ever since the brick factory closed down in Egypt.

I was thinking: Can you put out little half-ounce bottles of whiskey for bedikas chometz and drink them as you find them? Probably not. Remember: time is running out to drink all your chometz.

I usually don't post on Chol Hamo'eid.
See you when it's all over.

Kosher and freilechen Pesach!

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