Monday, December 15, 2008

This takes the cake

Every so often a story comes along that just screams "What were they thinking?" on so many levels:
[...] The boy, asked his name, put down a tiny plate and ran behind his father's leg. He flashed a shy smile but wouldn't answer. Heath Campbell, 35, the boy's father, encouraged him.

"Say Adolf," said Campbell, a Holocaust denier who has three children named for Nazism. [...]

Adolf Hitler Campbell -- it's indeed the name on his birth certificate -- turns 3 today, and the Campbell family believes the boy has been mistreated. A local supermarket refused to make a birthday cake with "Adolf Hitler" on it.

The ShopRite in Greenwich Township has also refused to make a cake bearing the name of Campbell's daughter, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who turns 2 in February.

Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, a girl named for Schutzstaffel head Heinrich Himmler, turns 1 in April.

"ShopRite can't even make a cake for a 3-year-old," said Deborah Campbell, 25, who is Heath's wife of three years and the mother of the children. "That's sad."
What's sad, Lady, is that in addition to not being able to figure out whether the Holocaust happened, you can't figure out how to operate a frosting bag. If you are going to name your kids "Aryan Nation" and "Adolph Hitler," then you buy a nicely decorated cake with the "Happy Birthday, Adolph" part left blank and put it in yourself. Then you can write "Happy Birthday, Adolph," "Heil Hitler," "Kill the Jews," and anything else you want on the cake. Why would this lady expect a cake not loaded with extra roach-parts? And why didn't the Shoprite people accept the order so that they could put in the extra roach-parts? It just gets weirder and weirder. The Shoprite people actually tried to accommodate the Campbells and a Wal-Mart has been pretty-much doing the Campbell's bidding:
The grocer offered to make a cake with enough room for the Campbells to write their own inscription. But the Campbells refused, saying they would have a cake made at the Wal-Mart in Lower Nazareth Township. The Campbells say Wal-Mart made cakes for Adolf's first two birthdays.

A spokeswoman for Wal-Mart said the store won't put anything illegal or profane on a cake but thinks it's important to respect the views of customers and employees.
The story goes on to quote a lot of completely bizarre, self-pitying blather:
Heath Campbell said some people like the names but others are shocked to hear them. "They say, 'He (Hitler) killed all those people.' I say, 'You're living in the wrong decade. That Hitler's gone,'" he said.

"They're just names, you know," he said. "Yeah, they (Nazis) were bad people back then. But my kids are little. They're not going to grow up like that."

"Other kids get their cake. I get a hard time," he said. "It's not fair to my children.

"How can a name be offensive?" he asked.
(Hat Tip: VosIzNeias)

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